17
Jul
07

The Most Trying of Times…

The best of times… the worst of times… no matter how it seems that things will work out, there are just days when the walls appear to be caving in on you.

We are ultimately what our decisions make us to be in the here and now.  Decisions that, during then, seemed the “right” thing to do… and consequently realizing that what you thought then was justifiable and calculated, actually is a costly mistake which has become seemingly irreparable.

This… is my now.  The predicament I’m in is clear.  I have dreaded it but somehow denied what I have consciously known long before… that things would have to be confronted eventually.

I speak in abstract due to the fact that I cannot divulge what has been eating away at me for the longest time… yet, blogging about it, has given me an outlet to vent out my anxieties.

These are my most trying of times… for these are the times when I search inside myself and realize that all my strength and conviction has long gone and have no one else but my wife to seek support and consolation from.  Normally, I would shield my wife from pain and suffering… from the torment of worries and despair.  But now it is in her arms that I seek refuge and in her words that I find faith and solace.

Today… it is not I… but she… who cries… for me… for us.

I thank her.

It is in these times that I realize how fortunate I am to have found a partner, a friend, a confidant… a wife, who supports me and unconditionally loves me.

And through her strength in me, through her faith and belief in all the good there is to come in our lives… I will find the courage to right my wrongs… and to make straight what has long been bent… regardless of what consequences lay ahead and of which should be laid down on me.

I pray for guidance… for the storm has just begun…

Today… there is no way around it…

I won’t allow it.

I confront it head on… here and now.

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18 Responses to “The Most Trying of Times…”


  1. 1 Jim
    Hulyo 17, 2007 bandang 5:38 umaga

    It is good to have an ever faithful partner, friend… wife. Seek solace and strength, too from the Almighty. You’ll never regret one bit and will be amazed at the peace that you’ll receive. Hope you’ll get through your predicament these days and come out a better and wise man. God bless! 🙂

  2. Hulyo 17, 2007 bandang 8:24 umaga

    Hi Jim… indeed I am very fortunate to have family and friends who are close to the Lord as well. This has been an avenue that has never been overlooked… especially during these desperately trying times.

    I am also greatly thankful to those who have gone to great lengths to actually reach me, wanting to be with me in prayer… Friends who most certainly come running, in the truest sense of the word.

    Jim, I greatly appreciate your well wishes. May everyone of us find the very reasons why we are subjected to these challenges… I believe the Lord will never allow anything to be thrown my way which he knows I cannot handle. This I know for a fact.

    For as much as I have faith in Him… so does He in my spirit. And in that I can find comfort.

  3. Hulyo 17, 2007 bandang 10:28 umaga

    Heya! I don’t really know what’s up but it does sound terrible. Wish you guys well and we’ll be praying for you. 🙂

  4. Hulyo 17, 2007 bandang 10:38 umaga

    Blogging does help to vent our frustrations and predicaments in life, and yeah … your very lucky to have someone share these burdens with.

    Whatever it is I hope passes quickly. God bless 😀

  5. Hulyo 17, 2007 bandang 6:15 hapon

    Like everything else, this too shall pass… Nice post. I hope you don’t mind if I link you up. Tnx! 🙂

  6. Hulyo 17, 2007 bandang 7:16 hapon

    Jonas:
    Indeed, terrible it is. And facing it means repercussions shall be as serious as the offense. There may be casualties but this is the path that I chose and the only way for me to come out a better person is to meet it head on. Thank you for your words of support…! Much appreciated.

    Zero:
    Yes, blogging has been very therapeutic for me. It helps let out the pent up emotions that are generally unhealthy. Yes, I too hope that this passes quickly. Whatever the outcome, I shall be prepared. Spiritually, I am ready.

    Jovi:
    Hello Jovi. Yes, everything passes… how you choose for it pass IS the difficult part. But we all make choices… wrong ones as well as good. It is not how we make them that defines us… but how we go about responsibly with our choices and follow through with them that matters.
    Oh by the way, no I don’t mind you linking up. Thanks in fact! Let me add you to my blogroll as well, ok?

  7. Hulyo 17, 2007 bandang 9:44 hapon

    chuck bro, family’s a family. we’re lucky to have good wives to be there to hold on for us and give strength. everything will pass bro. after five years, you can look back to this and say “that doesn’t matter anymore now”. time heals, just give time a time. we’re all in prayers. just hold on.

  8. 8 isagani x, m.a.
    Hulyo 17, 2007 bandang 11:39 hapon

    Hindi ko sasabihin naiintindihan ko ang kalagayan mo, dahil ang totoo hindi ko alam kung gaano kalubha, kagulo o kakumplikado ang iyong sitwasyon ngayon.

    Hindi ko sasabihing maayos din ang lahat sa lalong madaling panahon, dahil hindi ko alam kung paanong ang bawat sandali para sa iyo ay maaring napakahaba.

    Hindi ko sasabihing kaya mo yan, dahil maaring sa mga sandaling ito ay nanghihina ka na lamang at nanlulumo sa kasalukuyang kinalalagyan.

    Gayumpaman, ang masasabi ko lamang, kung ano at ano pa man ang mangyari, sa desisyon mo at sa pagsasatutuwid nang dating inakala mong tama, narito ang ilan sa iyong tagasubaybay na umaasang at humihiling na mapabuti ka at ang iyong mga mahal sa buhay sa mga sandaling ito.

    Isang Kristiyanong kaibigan ko ang nagsabi sa akin: sa mga ganitong panahon nasusubok ang lahat.

    Narito lamang kami, nakikibahagi sa iyong mga salita.

  9. Hulyo 18, 2007 bandang 12:51 umaga

    Badoodles:
    Yes, to have a wife that truly stands by you is such a blessing that can never be compared… Knowing that you are never alone. The mere touch of her hand and reassuring words… I cannot even begin to describe how THAT feels. Even during times when I know she herself isn’t sure of what’s to come, she puts up a brave front for us both. I cannot measure how much that makes me love her even more.
    Thank you for the wonderful words. All your well wishes have given me so much strength and encouragement.

    ———————————————–

    Isagani:
    Totoo… sa mga ganitong panahon nasusubok ang lahat. Sa mga ganitong panahon rin nakikilala ang sarili. At sa mga panahong ito ko rin nakikita na ang pakikiramay ay di lamang sa pamamagitan at pamamaraan ng paghawak at paghaplos ng kamay. Malayo man sa akin, kayong mga tagasubaybay ay nakapagpapatunay na hindi kailangang maging malapit upang maiparamdam sa akin ang inyong pakikibahagi sa kahirapang aking tinatahak sa kasalukuyan.
    Maraming salamat sa’yo.

    ———————————————–

    To all:
    Blogging is such a beautiful thing, isn’t it? To be able to share your joys as well as your pains to friends… to acquaintances… to strangers… who feel and go through similar challenges… to share in other’s sorrow as well as partake in their triumph.

    Blogging is as personal or as superficial as one makes it…

    What you can receive from your readers is only equivalent to that of what you are willing to share.

    I am so fortunate to have made so many friends here on my blog… Thank you, everyone for being there… for taking the time to share in my trials and to offer support.

    If only for this one single moment, you have made known to everyone that blogging is a worthwhile and meaningful experience.

    Thank you, all.

    I am stronger because of your words…

    I will not falter.

  10. Hulyo 18, 2007 bandang 9:43 hapon

    Hi Chuckie!

    I felt your great weight as I read this post but can offer nothing other than assurances for prayers for you and for your family that you weather this storm in your life. I also felt your intense love for your wife and am sure she is as wonderful as you describe her …and more.

    There is one more person other than your wife who you can turn to at this time. No other than the One who made you. Sometimes, it is when we fully surrender to Him after we have tried with all our human efforts and still fall short, that He can also fully take over and make right whatever is wrong.

    I will be praying for you and your loved ones. Keep the faith!

  11. 11 sgp
    Hulyo 19, 2007 bandang 6:55 umaga

    hang in there chuckster! whatever it is… just like all bad things in the past… this too, shall pass.

    on the BSOT (Brighter Side Of Things), not only did you realize you have faith in the “One Up There”, but you also realized you have an inner strength to face the problem (and blog about it 🙂 ). And more so, you realized how lucky you are to have a wifey by your side. Being a wifey myself, I bet she appreciates your wanting her to help you get through the tough stuff (and not stick to the machismo thing). i read all your nice words about her…. so there, unintentionally, that would be another 1000 pogi points on your account. 😉

    Just pointing out some little silver linings that are easy to overlook… and just trying to make you smile even a bit.

  12. Hulyo 20, 2007 bandang 4:17 hapon

    Chuck don’t worry! Pray to God for his guidance and Love.
    I would like to share to you my favorite Psalm.

    It’s Psalm 24, the psalm that King david prayed when he was in trouble. God will surely help you! I’ll pray for you too.

    PSALM 24

    1 In you, LORD my God,
    I put my trust.

    2 I trust in you;
    do not let me be put to shame,
    nor let my enemies triumph over me.

    3 No one who hopes in you
    will ever be put to shame,
    but shame will come on those
    who are treacherous without cause.

    4 Show me your ways, LORD,
    teach me your paths.

    5 Guide me in your truth and teach me,
    for you are God my Savior,
    and my hope is in you all day long.

    6 Remember, LORD, your great mercy and love,
    for they are from of old.

    7 Do not remember the sins of my youth
    and my rebellious ways;
    according to your love remember me,
    for you, LORD, are good.

    8 Good and upright is the LORD;
    therefore he instructs sinners in his ways.

    9 He guides the humble in what is right
    and teaches them his way.

    10 All the ways of the LORD are loving and faithful
    toward those who keep the demands of his covenant.

    11 For the sake of your name, LORD,
    forgive my iniquity, though it is great.

    12 Who, then, are those who fear the LORD?
    He will instruct them in the ways they should choose.

    13 They will spend their days in prosperity,
    and their descendants will inherit the land.

    14 The LORD confides in those who fear him;
    he makes his covenant known to them.

    15 My eyes are ever on the LORD,
    for only he will release my feet from the snare.

    16 Turn to me and be gracious to me,
    for I am lonely and afflicted.

    17 Relieve the troubles of my heart
    and free me from my anguish.

    18 Look on my affliction and my distress
    and take away all my sins.

    19 See how numerous are my enemies
    and how fiercely they hate me!

    20 Guard my life and rescue me;
    do not let me be put to shame,
    for I take refuge in you.

    21 May integrity and uprightness protect me,
    because my hope, LORD, [b] is in you.

    22 Redeem Israel, O God,
    from all their troubles!

  13. Hulyo 22, 2007 bandang 12:49 umaga

    Hi chuck! i couldn’t grasp how heavy your heart right now, but I pray for you affirming that you and your family are whole and well, guided by the eternal love of Christ in all you do.

    God’s love is our constant source of comfort, and I pray that may you find it at this very moment along with your family. Let the bond of anguish and guilt be broken by the power of Christ who constantly directs us to the right path. Let the God heal your hearts and trust that He’ll make all things back in place and better than yesterday.

    Just like to share some of these comforting verses from the Holy Book:

    “God understands the way to it, and he knows its place.”–Job
    28:23

    “Then the Lord said, ‘I do forgive, just as you have asked.'”–Numbers
    14:20

    “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father’s house there are many dwelling places. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you?”–John 14:1-2

    Psalm 51

    1 Have mercy on me, O God,
    according to your unfailing love;
    according to your great compassion
    blot out my transgressions.
    2 Wash away all my iniquity
    and cleanse me from my sin.

    3 For I know my transgressions,
    and my sin is always before me.

    4 Against you, you only, have I sinned
    and done what is evil in your sight,
    so that you are proved right when you speak
    and justified when you judge.

    5 Surely I was sinful at birth,
    sinful from the time my mother conceived me.

    6 Surely you desire truth in the inner parts [a] ;
    you teach [b] me wisdom in the inmost place.

    7 Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
    wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.

    8 Let me hear joy and gladness;
    let the bones you have crushed rejoice.

    9 Hide your face from my sins
    and blot out all my iniquity.

    10 Create in me a pure heart, O God,
    and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

    11 Do not cast me from your presence
    or take your Holy Spirit from me.

    12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation
    and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

    13 Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
    and sinners will turn back to you.

    14 Save me from bloodguilt, O God,
    the God who saves me,
    and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.

    15 O Lord, open my lips,
    and my mouth will declare your praise.

    16 You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
    you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.

    17 The sacrifices of God are [c] a broken spirit;
    a broken and contrite heart,
    O God, you will not despise.

    18 In your good pleasure make Zion prosper;
    build up the walls of Jerusalem.

    19 Then there will be righteous sacrifices,
    whole burnt offerings to delight you;
    then bulls will be offered on your altar.

  14. Hulyo 22, 2007 bandang 1:53 hapon

    Hey Chuck. Can’t help but worry a bit, but I’m glad you have your wife there with you at these times. God bless.

  15. Hulyo 22, 2007 bandang 1:59 hapon

    JANE:
    Hi Jane…
    It’s been a while since I replied back here on my own blog and, yes, I’m still in the middle of a dilemma which I am fighting to overcome. Though things seem a bit clearer now that I’ve invested so much time into prayer and contemplation. Not to mention the invaluable support of my wife day after day.
    True, prayers give you a clearer perspective of everything that’s going on in your life. It offers a “God’s Eye View” of everything that is happening… and what if any, would God say about it.
    This has been my main source of guidance. I am still in distress, but not hopeless anymore as I was before. I now have hope and direction. As one friend put it, “Being close to the Lord doesn’t free us from challenges and problems… but his graces transform us into the beings he desires for us to become… for us to be able to control and overcome our obstacles, not the other way around”. Slowly, I am learning this trait… if there is one good thing that has come out of all these trials, it is the fact that these dire times have made me enormously closer to God… consciously knowing that everything that I once thought to be impossible to overcome, is indeed nothing to God, for our Lord is the Merciful Lord of infinite possibilities.

    Thank you for the comforting words of support.

    ————————————————-

    SGP:
    Hey there sgp!
    Yes, these are times of self-discovery and realizations. Though it isn’t a surprise to me how my wife has shown her full support, but it still amazes me how she can ease my burdens by just being there… with the mere touch of her hand.
    How wonderful it is to have the knowledge that someone so dear to you shares in your pain.
    Things are looking up. Everything seems to be falling into place.
    Indeed, when everything is surrendered to the Lord, you can just let go and leave your cares to the wind.

    This was probably one way God was calling to me “through His megaphone!”

    ————————————————-

    MARTIN:
    Hey man! Thanks for leaving me some inspiring scripture that inspires my spirit… then following it up with a link to a very interesting article… THAT got my attention for quite a while. That girl has issues far far more serious than mine! Thank God I’m not her… 🙂
    But seriously, thank you talaga sa suporta mo! I really appreciate it!

    ————————————————-

    CRYST:
    Hi cryst! Thank you for words of encouragement and offering inspiring verses that truly enrich the soul and spirit. All you guys are truly great friends…! I mean it. I know that through every one of you, God has channeled his comforting words and wisdom.
    These words will help me get by any kind of challenge in the future… I am not saying I won’t be burdened by trials again, nor am I implying that I am free of it… but through God’s unwavering love and grace, I shall be in control with the Lord as master of my life.
    Thank you for taking the time to make me feel better. 🙂

  16. Hulyo 22, 2007 bandang 2:16 hapon

    Hi Kat…!
    I appreciate you dropping by and leaving your well-wishes. Things are much better now… not yet over though, but slowly inching my way to overcoming it with the help of my wife and God’s graces. Thanks again, Kat!

  17. Hulyo 23, 2007 bandang 8:14 umaga

    whatever it is, I’m praying to God to help you and make you feel that everythings gonna be alright because you always have Him no matter how hard the trials you are going through right now. Stay strong 🙂


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