19
Aug
05

Solace in confusion…

It’s been about 9 days since I made my last blog post.  A lot has happened since then.  The past few days has had its share of unfortunate events… and timely revelations.  Yet I find no comfort in the fact that these revelations have ultimately helped me realize what I know now, but which I have been blinded to for the longest time.

Everything you gain in life, be it knowledge… experience… or wisdom has a cost.  A price to pay.  Some even come at an expense much higher than others.

I value my relationships… relationships strengthened by trust through the course of time.  Friendships … and I mean “true” friendships in particular are the ones hardest to come by.  You may sometimes want to make yourself believe that most bonds are “keepers”.  But such is not the case as I’ve learned the hard way.

It seems that when you think you’ve figured out the formula to being able to recognize a true and honest friendship, you suddenly fall flat on your face… and hit a dead end.  Back to square one, Chuck!

I’d rather that someone come up to my face and tell me whatever he or she feels rather than avoid the confrontation and invite the confusion of hearsay.  But more than anything else… it is most painful when a friend of so many years… a very trusted friend… one whom you’ve considered to be more like family… and someone whom you’ve helped out more than once in every capacity possible, deceives you… betrays you and backbites you just to save his/her skin.

As you can tell by going through this article, I am shooting at all directions… wandering aimlessly… going nowhere.  That’s exactly where I am right now… nowhere… lost.  Lost to the fact that someone can actually be so true and so false at the same time.

Ahh… such is life and all its twists and turns.

As for you, my “two-faced, double-tougued” so-called friend for so many years… it was good knowing you then.  I have found solace… knowing now what I didn’t know then… the “real you”.

I believe there’s a lesson to be learned here somewhere… I just know it.  Maybe I’m just too hurt right now to be able to figure it out.

Maybe in time…

…in time.

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